Laying in my bed at night I think about how things use to be. I think about a day and time when everything seemed easy. When things seem to just go smooth for no reason at all I distinctly remember,I was alive or at least I felt that way. There were good days where nothing bothered me and I felt as if I could conquer the world.
There were also bad days and that is when I knew the devil had it in for me. Things I could never imagine began to happen to me. Stuff that you can only keep in your head and not tell anyone in fear of judgment. Things that I may not be proud of and I wonder in hindsight would I have done anything differently.
There had to be a better way to conquer these demons and stay on track with what it is I believe I should be doing at this point of my life. But what is that thing? How would I know that I am now in the right place or did I make a wrong turn, and this is my punishment.
As my mind begins to reflect on the good times a deep sense of loneliness overwhelms me. Why am I here, doing this? Was this in Gods master plan for me or did I take a wrong turn somewhere.
I poured so much energy into those around me that I simply forgot about me. I forgot about what I needed and how neglected I feel in my time of need. Is this what I should be doing now or is the devil trying to make me forget who I am.
I appear to have it all together but the fact of the matter is. I’m no different!!!!